Hi, guys. Pixelated Executioner here. Or, y’know, just Pix for short. I’m the lucky soul who gets to be Jasyla’s Blogger Secret Santa this year for Ophelie’s little blog project. So here I am, filling in for Jasyla while she’s off recovering from Christmas or whatever. The idea here is that the person filling in for the regularly scheduled poster is supposed to write something that fits the blog theme. There are a couple of problems with that, unfortunately.
This might come as a shock to some of you (well, okay, maybe not), but I’m not a druid. I’ve never even played a druid. I *know* plenty of druids, and I read lots of druid blogs (face it, who doesn’t enjoy having Big Bear Butt and Cannot Be Tamed on their reader, anyway?), but I’ve never experienced the shapeshifting life. To be fair, that’s nothing against druids. I just hate the look of Night Elves, and I don’t play Horde. Though the Worgen are shaping up to be quite interesting…
The other thing is that I’m not much of a theorycrafter, and for what little I do, chances are you folks don’t want to hear about the latest in Arms Warrior dps abilities or how much execute crits for when you’re on a roll (right now, in some epics and heroic blues, that’s about 60k, by the way). You also don’t want to hear about the best time to use Bladestorm (only if you really trust your tank and healer) or the most unorthodox (but handy!) use for Heroic Leap (it’s to get you out of range of mobs so you can Charge again). Besides, this isn’t supposed to be for shameless self-promotion anyhow. It’s supposed to be about giving to someone else without expecting anything in return. (But just in case, you can find my blog at http://pixelatedexecutioner.thestorythusfar.com, by the way.)
I thought I might write about more things that Cannot Be Tamed, complete with pictures and all that. I had a pretty good list going, but I realized that handing Jasyla a post with 20 or so pictures in it would be a little extreme for a post where the point behind this sort of project is so that the main author doesn’t have to do any real work. Besides, once you get past Ghostcrawler
the only other option is Lord Voldemort.
Wait, that last one is Cannot Be Named. My mistake.
Then I thought I’d write about how awesome I think druids are (despite the fact that I don’t play one. Ironic?). And it’s true – druids are pretty damn awesome. One of my very good friends is arguably one of the best bear tanks (and pretty good cat dps, too) on my server, and was part of my raid team all throughout Wrath. Another good friend of mine is a pretty good healer. He’d be ridiculously awesome if he were a little quicker to move out of bad stuff on the ground, but I guess he’s under the impression that he works best with a lit fire under his ass. Yet another good friend of mine definitely puts the BOOM in Boomkin. Er, Moonkin. Whatever. But I’m pretty sure you guys don’t want to hear about my friends. Now that I think about it, my friends probably don’t want to see me talking about them on the internet, anyway. Even if I’m saying nice things.
After that, I thought I should write something like an etiquette guide for dealing with druids. I got through twenty-five really good points, and was putting the finishing touches on the twenty-sixth (something to do with shorter races not insulting a bear druid, because they crap bigger than that), and realized that you guys don’t need an etiquette guide – you’re already druids. I went back to the drawing board.
I thought about writing a story, even! A grand tale, filled with heroic druids saving the day against the forces of something-or-other. Unfortunately, if word ever got back to a warlock friend of mine that I wrote a short story for someone else’s blog and didn’t actually finish the one I’m working on for mine… let’s just say that I’d take fel fire to the face and need heals and reconstructive surgery. Can feral druids do scar work? No? Damn.
So here we are. This is where I ended up.
Okay, so maybe it’s not the best fit for the blog. But I’ve never been the conventional sort (I play an ARMS WARRIOR for A’dal’s sake), and I hope that this at least brought a smile to your face when you read it. If it did, then my mission is accomplished. If it didn’t, well… guess you’ll just have to catch me on Warcraft Improv Night on my vent channel so I can regale you with Kermit the Frog and Hank Hill doing the Arthas/Tirion pre-fight exchange.
Happy Holidays to Jasyla and all you druids out there. May your claws be sharp, your roots be strong, and your moonbeams bright.
Thanks for the post, Pix! Everyone make sure to visit Pixelated Executioner for all your arms warrior needs. Also, check out my secret santa post for Trading with Zoxy. Merry Christmas. -Jasyla