Tag Archives: bad dps

The Worst PuG

I was just in the most painful random dungeon I’ve EVER been in. I hadn’t done randoms on my alts for a while so I decided to do a quick run to get a few emblems for my warrior. Quick…ha!

I queue up and within about 10 seconds Halls of Stone pops up. “Oh good”, I think “an easy one”. My party consists of myself (prot warrior), a rogue, a death knight, a frost mage and a druid healer. Everything goes fine at first. Things die a little slowly, the rogue never once attacks my target on multi-mob pulls, but I can live with that. Then we get to Krystallus. As he’s about to do his first shatter the healer runs into melee. The healer and melee die, I’m left with a couple thousand health and we inevitably wipe. The healer asks if he did something wrong and I explain how shatter works and that we must stay spread apart during the fight. Honestly, if you don’t know how a boss fight works, ASK! We try again. I don’t notice if people are standing too close this time, but somehow the healer and melee die again. The mage and I proceed to 2-man the boss from about 40% health. Gotta love all those warrior “oh shit” buttons.

We continue on to Maiden of Grief and that’s when I realise just how bad the dps is. The death knight stands in front of her to dps and the mage seems to be spamming Blizzard. It takes us 1 minute 22 seconds to kill her. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but it is. I really can’t remember any other kill in the last year or so that wouldn’t have qualified for the 1-minute achievement.

Tribunal of Ages is where shit really hits the fan. The dps and healer refuse to stand behind me, making the adds kinda hard to pick up. Again, the dps is hurting us and the adds keep piling up. The mage stands in something bad and dies. Soon we have a good dozen mobs running around and the healer is running out of mana. We fail, but try again. The same thing happens. I ask everyone to stand behind me again, this time everyone but the mage complies. The adds just won’t die. I take a look at recount and see that I am first on damage done, doing 37% of the groups total damage. Fantastic. Adds keep swarming, people stand in bad shit, we die. “OMG” exclaims the healer, who then leaves. A quick look at recount shows that half the druid’s healing came from Lifebloom. Good job, you didn’t need that mana anyway.

We get a disc priest as a replacement healer and gave it another go. Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results…there might be something to that. The healer does well but, if it’s actually possible, the dps seems to be getting worse. At then end of the fight there are at least 18 mobs alive. Everyone but the healer dies. Somehow a miracle happens, the healer runs down the hall and draws the fight out just enough for us to complete it. Finally. The priest says “Now I know why the other healer left” and leaves the group. The shitty DK and mage follow (huzzah!). The rogue and I stick it out and soon our group is filled with a new healer along with 2 dps who actually do more damage than me. We kill the last boss without incident and finally, after a good hour in Halls of Stone, I get my stupid Frost Emblems.

After this terrible, terrible run I try to analyze what caused all the fail.

Exhibit A

Recount of PuG

This is the total damage done for everything from the beginning of the instance to the completion of Tribunal of Ages. I more than doubled the mage’s damage. I almost tripled the DK’s damage. I’m the fracking tank!!!

Why was their dps so bad? I took a quick look at their armory profiles to find out.

Let’s start with Mr. Mage:

  • Gear is a mix of high-level 70s blues and a few ilvl 200 epics. That’s fine. Dungeons are where you go to gear up.
  • Zero enchants, zero gems
  • Spec is 2/0/69
  • Of the 69 points crammed into the frost tree, he only managed to put one point into Empowered Frostbolt. I’m no frost mage, but that talent looks kinda important.
  • Has only 2 major glyphs

Then the Death Knight:

  • Zero enchants, zero gems (obviously – gems are so pass√©)
  • Spec is unholy 0/0/71 (also has a frost off-spec: 0/71/0)
  • Now that I think about it, I don’t think I ever saw a ghoul up
  • Zero glyphs
  • His gear was the best part:
    – Full Icebane Set
    – Spellpower shoulders, cloak and bracers
    – Tanking gloves
    – 2 sub-level 70 rings
    – 1 level 70 trinket and 1 level 60 trinket
    – His weapon miraculously had a rune on it

Just for fun, I also looked up the resto druid:

  • Spec is 1/0/70. Of course it is.
  • Has two major glyphs, both of which are complete shit
  • Has completed HoS 6 times and therefore should know about Krystallus’s shatter.

After seeing the DK’s gear I was momentarily convinced that someone was playing a joke on me. No one could possibly make such bad choices unless it was on purpose. I don’t understand. This isn’t a difficult game. How can people be so bad? You’d think in the process of leveling to 80 they’d gain at least a shred of insight into how to play.¬† These people should do us all a favor and quit. Or at least abstain from LFD.