Breaking up is hard to do… but not that hard

Raiding guilds in WoW tend to be a very fluid thing. I like to park myself in a guild for an extended period of time until something happens that makes membership very difficult, but not everyone is this way. Some people guild hop. Some can’t make up their mind about where they want to raid. Some people aren’t even solid on if they want to (or are able to) raid. 

Fourteen months ago, as Mists was coming out, the officers of Apotheosis made up a roster of 33 people that were going to tackle whatever raid bosses Pandaria could throw at us. Of those 33, 15 are still raiding with us. Almost half of the 17 people who stopped raiding for real life reasons, but are still part of the guild. The rest have left. Between then and now, we also trialed no less than 33 more raiders – 14 of whom are still around. The 19 that are gone either didn’t pass their trials or left for greener pastures. So, by my count (which could be off by one or two, I tend to forget people who aren’t around for long) 66 people have raided with Apotheosis over the course of the expansion.

That was a very long-winded (for me) way of saying that raiders come and go. It’s a fact of WoW.

What I don’t get is why so many people who choose to leave lie about it, or go about quitting in a manner that is very inconvenient for their (soon to be ex-) guild. I’ve seen it all. Though I’m happy to report we haven’t had any more gquitting incidents quite like this, a surprising number of the people who have quit raiding with my guild have done it in a way that left me (and others) with bad feelings towards them.

Improper ways to quit your raid include:

  • Saying you need to step down due to real life issues (your family is sick, your dog died, you have so much schoolwork to do) then joining another raid guild within a week.
  • Saying you got hacked/your account is locked, then ninja transferring off server.
  • Knowing you won’t be able to make raid times due to a schedule change you’ve had planned for a while but not letting your guild know until the day before. On the same day your buddy who plays the same class/spec as you is planning to announce that he’s stepping down.
  • Ragequitting in the middle of a raid.
  • Announcing that you’ve cancelled your WoW account on Twitter before (or instead of) telling anyone in your guild directly.

It’s the liars that bother me the most, because I just don’t get it. I understand that sometimes a guild and a raider aren’t a good fit, but why is it so hard for some people to say that? Are we not killing bosses fast enough for you? Do you not like our loot rules? Do you miss the people from your old guild? Do you want to be the leader? Do you think we’re all assholes? Just say so.

Jasyla,

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to raid with Apotheosis but, I’ve decided that it is not the guild for me, so I’m going to leave and look elsewhere. Good luck to you all in Siege.

Is that so hard? Or, if you like:

Jasyla,

You are terrible. I’m out.

Later suckers.

I guess my belief that people are capable of acting like mature adults is rather precious and naive. But seriously, you don’t even have to say it to someone’s face. You can send a message from the comfort and safety of your desk.

Making up a story – especially a sob story that makes people sympathize with your plight – instead of just saying you’re looking for greener pastures makes you a tool. It also seems like a lot more work than just saying “I don’t want to raid with you anymore.”

People will find out – guild officers are accomplished internet sleuths.

We always find out.

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5 Responses to Breaking up is hard to do… but not that hard

  1. Couldn’t agree more, especially about the ‘We always find out’ bit.

  2. I agree – the truth is out there. And with the internet, and people’s insatiable urge to share things they shouldn’t on facebook, twitter or forums, we always do find out. I agree – I would rather know the truth than listen to some bull**** excuse – I don’t mind if you leave, I just need to organise stuff so I can replace you after you leave. Great post Jas.
    Navimie recently posted..Raiding – First timers with good results

    • Thanks Navi! I don’t want to think of WoW as like a job (even though it kind of is for many) but I’d love if everyone gave some notice if they need to quit. Usually it’s the “my mom’s sick/my dog died” people who just stop showing up, and finding out afterwards that excuse was a total lie is disappointing.

  3. Just dropping in as I have been lurking for the past few months. Still miss all you folks from Apoth and all the times we had over the years. Glad to see you are still progressing strongly. But with your post, you are right, people should be honest from the get-go since somehow, someway the truth of why you left will eventually come out.