Disclaimer: This post is completely non WoW-related, highly self-indulgent and a little on the emo side. Feel free to skip right on by and go read something about the MoP beta. Actually, it’ll be easier to hit publish if I think no one is reading this.
It’s March 22nd and this is only the second post I’ve written this month. I feel bad that I’ve been ignoring my blog, but I just haven’t been in the right mindset to write (or even play WoW) most of the time.
I feel a little odd writing this post. I don’t really like to talk about personal stuff too much, but I feel like I need to say something – need a little catharsis.
I’ve been going through a lot in the last few months. I’m way over 300 on the Holmes and Rahe stress scale. I’ve gone through a break-up, sold my house, had to find a new place to live, moved to a much smaller place, lost a few friends, been gkicked, have been without my kitties for far too long, and in 8 days I’ll be unemployed. At times I feel like I could be the subject of a bad country song. I’m glad I don’t have a dog, because it probably would have died.
I’m trying not to feel too sorry for myself, as the responsibility for many of these things falls squarely on my shoulders. I’ve also had some really great things happen over the last while. But as someone who has never handled change very well, it has been overwhelming at times.
The worst part has been moving. I hate moving. Nothing makes me want to hide in a closet, curl into the fetal position and cry like packing my life into boxes and moving it some place else. I should have planned better. I should have just hired movers and got everything done in one fell swoop. But I didn’t. Instead I’ve drawn this process out over a couple of weeks, moving a few boxes at a time. I’ve made so many trips between my old house and my new loft, carting over whatever I could fit in my car – my dolly has become one of my best friends. At the end of each of these trips I’ve usually been an exhausted, emotional wreck.
Cleaning out my old house was stressful, as was getting rid of all the things I knew wouldn’t fit into my new place. I donated all my books to Goodwill. I loved the library I’ve built up over the last decade or so, but my new place really doesn’t have room for so many bookshelves. They’d just have to go into storage and then I’d have to move them again when my lease is up. So I got rid of them all, along with everything else I didn’t see an immediate need for.
The process of selling a house is funny. You put so much work into it – cleaning, touching up paint, decluttering, rearranging furniture and making it look good – then you leave and don’t get to enjoy any of it yourself.
On the bright side, it’ll be over soon. Last night I moved the last of my stuff out of my old place. The sale of my house closed today; my lawyer just called me to tell me that everything was done. I also got one of my kitties back this week, who happens to be the best at snuggling.
There is still lots to do. I need to unpack and finish furnishing my new place, but that’s not too stressful. I like the thought of putting everything in its proper spot (once I find it) and making the place my own. I’m looking forward to having people over to my new place for a housewarming party and lots of wine nights. I’ll also be writing a lot more cover letters (not my favourite thing to do) as I search for a job. To be honest though, I’m not in a huge hurry to get a new job, I could use some time off. I feel like I need about a month of sleep to clear my head and stop feeling so exhausted all the time.
It’s been an ordeal, but I’m looking forward to April.